Recently I've been going out with friends alot, to meet up for movies, meals, party or to do project. I found that some people have very irritating habits despite their inherently good nature. I guess maybe I should put up a discussion here to see if I should be irritated with those habits. Maybe I'm wrong to be irritated with them. Maybe those habits are the social norm? So lets see...
Being Late
Normally I'm ok with people being late for 5-10 mins, though I'll not be very happy about it, esp those people who are punctually late for 5-10 mins. But still, it's ok. I admit I do that sometimes also.
BUT, for those people who are always more than 15mins late, without fail... I think this is being irresponsible. You may think it is no big deal. However, do you know that you are wasting other people's time, other people's life!!! Moreover, you are not keeping your promise, not only that, you are habitually breaking promise again and again! Also, it shows that you couldn't care less about the person you are meeting with. He/she/they are nothing to you. You don't give a damn that they are waiting for you. Would you be late to a VERY important event, such as your job interview? Lastly, if you can't do such a simple task as keeping on time, what will other think about your capabilities?
You may think it is a small matter, late only ma, so serious meh? However, that is what other people think of you when you are late, esp when you are late everytime. So friends, for your own sake, please kick the bad habit of being late. What's wrong with reaching the place earlier abit? You die die must make other people wait for you meh???
Being Late (Part 2)
IF, you are already late, or you already know you will be late, please, as a basic courtesy, inform those people you are meeting that you will be late, and give an accurate timing what time you will arrive. Here I stressed - ACCURATE timing. Nothing is more irritating than the fact that you come even later than the new, already late, timing that you gave.
Last Tuesday, a friend and I arranged to meet at 12pm in Dolby Ghaut.
At 11.20pm: she SMS me that she will reached only on 12:15pm. I was already on the train.
11.55pm: I reached.
12.15pm: she called and told me she will reach at 12:30pm.
12.40pm: she arrived, finally.
If you were me, how will you feel? What will you think of that person, esp if you don't know her?
(Despite what you all think, she is a very nice girl la. =P)
If you can't estimate your time when you reach properly, just tell your friend your whereabout. Let your friend do the estimating. DO NOT, I stress, DO NOT give an inaccurate timing!
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The above are my personal opinion. Am I wrong? Is it ok that pple should be late? Or it is ok for gals to be late? Maybe it is my habit of being punctual that is wrong, because a surprising number of people like to be late. Point out to me, then I will change my habit accordingly. =)
Not Replying to SMS
The problem here isn't not being prompt in replying SMS. You may not have seen the SMS at the time when it is sent to you. Or you are too busy to reply the message. You may even forget to reply the message afterword. But eventually, you reply. Maybe a day later, or even 2 days later (which is sometimes VERY irritating also). But you replied. So, it is ok.
The problem here is: You do not reply to SMS, at all.
So, in what situations do you not reply to other people's SMS?
Case 1) When you didn't receive it.
Ok, sometimes it happens, once in a blue moon. But it definitely will not happen to every SMS that I sent.
Case 2) When the SMS is forwarded.
I personally don't reply forwarded SMSes, though I appreciate them.
Case 3) When the SMS is stupid or lame or insulting.
I don't send those kind of SMS, I think. =p
Case 4) When you don't give a damn to the person who sent you the SMS. This person is not even a friend!!!
Hmmm...
Let us take one example, just to see what you all think. A simple well-wishing message :
"Hi XXX, Happy Birthday!"
Will you reply? Yes, no, maybe?
For me, I may not reply if I feel lazy. But most of the time I will reply "thank you". Basic courtesy.
What about:
"Hi XXX, Happy Birthday! How have you been?"
To me, this one is a must reply message, 'cos it is a question. Anyone think otherwise?
So, what if you msg this to a good friend and the person didn't reply? What will you think?
You will think it is Case 1: The person didn't receive the message right?
What if you SMS your good friend THREE times and the person didn't reply??
Case 4??
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I don't know if this is a bad habit. If it is a bad habit, it is a Friendship-Killer bad habit, to me at least. Hmmm... maybe I'm too serious abt it? Can someone convince me it is ok to ignore other pple / friends' SMS?
(Actually I may have this habit... Hopefully I didn't kill any friendships this way. I hereby say that I'm sorry to all friends whose SMSes I didn't reply for one reason or another.)
Being Uncontactable During Critical Period
Actually there is no right or wrong for being uncontactable, people sometimes gets uncontactable from time to time. However, if you picked up your handphone and see 100 miss calls and 100 unread messages... please understand that your friend is not very happy with you and the least you can do is say that you are sorry, even though you are not wrong. Apologise won't die.
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I always apologise. Those who are close to me like Soonguan, Richard, Jiahong, Yongren etc they all will know. Actually the word 'sorry' is extremely easy to use and apporpriate for most circumstances, for example:
"Jiahong, you are NOT thin. I'm sorry."
Simple? LOL!
Disclaimer: The above bad habit has nothing to do with Jiahong. He is just an example in the sentence constructing.
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To end off, nobody is perfect. Everyone got a bad habit or two, including me. They say a good friend is like a mirror: they point out your mistakes. Nowadays mirrors are hard to find. I hope this entry can serve as a mirror, for me as well as you. Hope you can become a better person, friend. =)
