Friday, June 6, 2008

Ranting

Having been through one week as a full-working adult, I realised I am feeling... lonely.

 

Let me clarify, it is not the 'no-girlfriend kind of lonely' lonely. It is the 'no-friends kind of lonely' lonely. There are around 10 people in my project/workplace. The manager / seniors are all very nice, friendly people whom never gave me any pressure. Also, surprising, around half of them are ladies! =P

 

However, the problem is that they are all very experienced and been through project(s), each lasting more than 2 years, together. As a result, it can be seen that they are a very close-knitted bunch. On the other hand, I, am the ONLY fresh grad with ZERO experience. Even what I studied has ZERO relevance to what I am doing. (Wondered why they decided to employ me... Haha!) 

 

So,

 

I find it hard to connect with them.

 

Haiz... miss the days when I still was an attachment student. Don't know anything nevermind. Student ma. Fool around, being childish, playing games nevermind. Sudent ma. Somemore so many fellow students around. Now as a working adult, as a full time engineer, don't know anything? WTF. Paiseh dao siao.

 

A holder of DEGREE OF BACHELOR OF ENGINEERING (ELECTRICAL & ELECTRONIC ENGINEERING) WITH SECOND CLASS HONOURS (UPPER DIVISION) who knows NOTHING?? How ironical. What have I been doing for 4 years in NTU?

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I found that I have a tendency of making stupid or senseless choices throughout my life.

 

I have got an A1 in Chemistry in 'O' levels. I chose to give up Chemistry and take up Higher Chinese in JC. I ended up getting a D for Higher Chinese in 'A' levels.

 

I love hands-on and mechanical stuff more than circuit boards. (I love to do props!) My dad told me don't choose the easy way out just because electronics are hard. Thus I choose EEE at the end of Year 1, and ended up wondering why the hell I choose EEE for the rest of my uni life.

 

By the end of Year 2, I realised I don't really like circuits and semiconductors. Yet for the same reason as above, I chose the hardest, Electronics, out of Electronics, Electrical & Infocomm. Semiconductors ended up to be the only C I got in Year 3.

 

By the end of Year 3, I realised I really don't like circuits and semiconductors. So I finally took the easy way out and switched to Infocomm in Year 4. However, even though all my friends commented that 'Digital Signal Processing' the is hardest design module available, I still chose it over 'Object Orientated Programming', thinking that programming is something I can easily learn in my free time if I really need it in my work.

 

 

NOW, I CHOSE A JOB THAT MAKES ME REALLY HAVE TO LEARN PROGRAMMING IN MY FREE TIME!!! I want to cry..... T_T 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I hate to be a freshie! I dont want to be a noob! Hopefully I can contribute to the team real soon! Anw 'til now my job is still quite interesting. I am staring at codes from 8.30am to 6.30pm from Monday to Friday, but somehow I still love programming. Woohoo! I guess one year down the road I will start to enjoy my job. Hopefully. =)

 

It is paramount to stay positive. Actually, I HATE working.

(But somehow, I have the strange ability to still do ok even in things I don't like.)

 

 

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