Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Back 2


Why some people drink coffee everyday?

Why some people smoke cigarette everyday?

Why freshgrads want to find a job asap?

Why some people are anxious to get attached?

Why some people believe in God?

Why Jiahong and Jiangfeng wants me to get a girlfriend?

Why Minghui thinks I would "fret" when I can't find a passion?

There may be hundred of reasons, but could one of them be that


People are afraid of Freedom ?


Everyone thought that they love freedom, but subconciously they know that freedom is scary. Without something/someone they can depend on, or attached to, or tell them what to do, be it a thing, a person, a religion, a goal, etc., they don't know what to do. They felt lost, empty.


"Life has no meaning," they would say.


And I would agree with them too. After experiencing so much freedom alone in a foreign country for extended period, I realised that, ya, Freedom. Is. SCARY. The only person deciding what you should do is yourself. The only person judging that the things you are doing are right is yourself. The only person you can depend on is yourself.


Scary.


After understanding the "dark side" of freedom, I felt that I have grown up. After all, growing up is all about dealing with increasing freedom (even the freedom to give up freedom). But I will never give up my Freedom easily. To me, I believed that having options is always better than having no options. Hence, the religion I always wrote in the religion column of any forms:


Free Thinker.


So ya, to reply some of the comments of previous entry - having passion (aka "meaning of life") is good, having no passion is not that bad either... at least I am still free to be passionate about anything... or anyone. Haha!



Saturday, May 30, 2009

Back

An instructor told me when I am in US:

 

"It is always a good experience to live abroad for a while. Not only can you see new things in new country, you also see new things when you go back to your old country."

 

I am back. He is correct.

 

I see many things now with cynicism. Many things are so stupid. Hall allocation. Swine flu alert levels. Case of NTU student suicide. Etc. People wasting energies on purposeless things. *Yawn*.

 

And because many things have become purposeless... time has lost its value to me. These days my working hours on weekdays have increased from 830 to 6 to 7 to 7. Plus I have to work on Saturadays. But the funny thing is, I don't feel a thing. No dulan, no complaints. OT OT lor. No big deal. Nothing else purposeful to do anyway.

 

When you take the Slack philosophy to the extreme, you will find that you won't mind Work anymore.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Btw, I have already concluded my search to the Purpose of Life, at least for now, after a good chat with Jiamin. The single most important thing in Life. The thing that, without which, you will find your life utterly meaningless. The Answer that everyone seeks, the Truth, and that is... *drum roll...*

 

PASSION.

 

The Meaning of Life of a person = the Object of Passion of the person. There is no universal "Meaning of Life".  There is no meaning to Life. I have search for it before I went US. I have search for it half a world away in US. I have even drove 5 hours to search for it in Chicago. It is not there. My 3 months in US is purposeless. I felt the angst of an existentialist during my last month in US, when I am all alone with a car and an apartment.

 

Only when Jiamin asked me, "how you feel when you are doing production?" Then it hit me. The reason why people can find meaning in life climbing Mt Everest.

 

PASSION.

 

The Meaning of Life is different for different people. Climbing Mt Everest. Girlfriend. Boyfriend. Doing Productions. "God". Etc. Anything can be one's meaning of life, if it is also an object of one's passion.

 

Don't know why I took so long to realised it. Currently, I have no passion. Everything is meaningless, purposeless. Everything is so stupid. But it doesn't matter anymore, cos I already know the Reason.

 

Life goes on until I find the object of my passion. Then, life still goes on.

 

 

Friday, May 22, 2009

Hall Allocation

I find the whole thing really absurd. The student body completely rejects "3 person per room" scheme. The student body complains cannot get enough room. Of course, SAO spending so much effort coming up with a stupid plan that allocate rooms by distance from home rather than by merit doesn't help solve the problem. In fact, it has nothing to do with the Problem. And what is the Problem??

 

There is NOT ENOUGH rooms for all the students who want a room!

 

How do you solve a Demand-Supply problem? Simply increase supply or/and reduce demand!

 

Of course, one doesn't build new halls overnight. And raising price of rooms to decrease demand is inhumane. So actually the best solution is the "3 person per room scheme"!

 

I don't know why the student body protest so vehemently against it. I am also surprised that SAO gave the scheme up so easily. (Authority usually never listens to mass.) Actually what the scheme needs is just a little modification to make it work.

 

The reason why the student body protest so vehemently against it is simply because they are used to double or single rooms. So to work around it, simply allocates triple rooms to the freshies, who ain't used to the comfort of a double room! This works two-ways: First, more supply is created, leaving more rooms for the seniors. Second, it reduces demands, as less freshies may want to squeeze in a triple room.

 

The second adjustment to the scheme is simply to make the triple rooms cheaper per pax! Even if the price per pax in triple rooms is reduced by half of that in double rooms, the hall still collects 50% more fees for each double room that is converted to triple room. I am sure some less well-off seniors may even volunteerily opt for triple rooms if the price to stay in hall is reduced.

 

So in conclusion, just a word to say to NTU authorities and student leaders: Instead of focusing your energies on the allocation plans, think of something that will actually SOLVE the Problem. What is the point of trying different ways to allocate rooms if you don't have enough rooms to allocate in the first place?? Or should I say, if you have enough rooms to allocate in the first place, you don't have to think so hard about allocating rooms?

 

P.S. That reminds me of the shuttle bus waiting problem. Every year the bus routes changes. For f**k?!? It just makes me laugh. Haha!

 

 

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Movies

Just a little observation before I start: Why these days most of my fellow blogger friends stop blogging anymore? Is it because that I stopped blogging? Hahaha!

 

Anw I think I wrote before that I can't blog on my laptop cos for some reason my Window Vista don't allow me to login to msn space. If I want to blog, I can only blog from my workplace. But of course, it is not right to blog during work, and so I didn't blog. With everything accounted for, let me start blogging proper:

 

(Don't ask me why am I blogging now. If I have a choice, I won't be. In fact, I won't even be at my workplace.)

 

So, what the hell have I been doing these days?

 

Ever since my colleague went back to Singapore a month ago, I have been left on my own in a foreign country half a world away from home. But on the up side, my company had left me a car and an apartment with 2 bedrooms. (One of the bedrooms has became my wardrobe.) And so, with the car, I had been travelling around the city, and even to another city, when I am not working.

 

However, after a while, I found out that my cash isn't unlimited. So I opt for a cheaper form of entertainment, watching movies. One difference between Singapore and US movie theatre is that US movie theatres is free seating. So in order to get a good seat, you need to reach early. The other difference is that US movie theatres feature even longer advertisements than Golden Village theatres. This works strangely well together with the first difference.

 

Anwz these are the movies I watch in US:

 

Watchman

Fast and Furious

Knowing

Monster VS Aliens

Hannah Montana

Earth

Wolverine

Star Trek

 

So far, Knowing and Star Trek are the best of them all, while Fast and Furious and Monster VS Alien are the worst.

 

Other than that, I also watched some movies on my laptop:

 

Life After People (history channel documentry)

The Day the Earth Stood Still

Nania

Slumdog Millionaire

Battle Royale

Battle Royale II

 

I felt that Slumdog Millionaire is overrated. Overall it's good but it is just too... artificial. Knowing, Life After People, The Day the Earth Stood Still, watching these 3 shows together really made me think for quite a while... about human species as a whole... what is its purpose, is there a purpose, or just a random accident?

 

One special mention is Battle Royale, which is one of the BEST bloody shows I had ever watched. How human nature is magnified when facing death. Actually I thought nothing of its story at first. If not out of curiosity why my cousin wants me to order it specially from Amazon, I would never had watched it. Very highly recommended.

 

Ok, time's up.

 

Next movies I am going to watch: Momento, 12 Monkeys, Donnie Darko, 1408, Godfather. Ah, and Angels and Demons.

 

TATA!

 

Monday, March 30, 2009

New hobbies

No. 1: Watch Hannah Montana.

 


The cable tv here have a hundred channels, literally. One of my favourite is the Disney channel, where they will show Hannah Montana without fail every single day. Back when I was back in Singapore, I have heard of this person without knowing who the hell is she. Only when I am in US and chance upon an episode of Hannah Montana then I realise it was a very funny comedy serial!

 

Anw, it was about this 16 year old girl whose show name is called Hannah Montana and she is a world renown superstar. However her real name is called Miley Stewart (and her really real real name is Miley Cyrus... can be really confusing...) and no-one knows about her superstar identity except her family and a couple of close friends. Then the show is about the interesting things that happened around her, her father, her brother and her friends... all of whom are damn funny by themselves. And the father in the show is really her real father in real life! Pretty cool guy. =)

 

A good show to watch when you have nothing to do. The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Wizards of Waverly Place are pretty good too! America has some pretty damn good scriptwriters and actors. And they are showing Hannah Montana the Movie here soon. You bet I am going to watch!

 

No. 2: Coin collecting.

 

The coins here in USA are damn confusing. They are called quarters, dimes, pennies etc, and their size is not proportional to the value it contains. It took us quite along while to figure what their values actually are. For the uninitiated, quarters are 25 cents, dimes are 10 cents and pennies are 1 cents.  

 

Anw the quarters here are very interesting. They have this State Quarters Program where they release 50 different types of quarters, each having a different picture for each of the 50 American states. And so yup, I have collecting them for the past 6 weeks... right now I got 36/50. Quite hard to find the rest though, but I will continue to try hard! *determined*

 

No. 3: Shopping

 

Self explanatory. Spent around S$3000 during my past 6 weeks here. Mostly on food though. But here is a freaking shopping heaven! CK, Gap, Nike, Adidas, Fossil, Coach etc etc... Shiok!

 

 

Another day in USA.

 

Thursday, March 26, 2009

World Peace

Watched the latest episode of Gundam 00, where the protagonist (Setsuna F Seiei) suddenly "evolved" (reached enlightenment) during one of their final battles and his Gundam began to emit light/particles to everywhere. And where the light touches, everyone starts to understand everyone else and the fighting stops.

 

How good this will be, if such thing exists?

 

Will it be possible that everybody understands everybody else?

 

Is it possible to have no wars, and everyone lives in peace?

 

That is what I like about Gundam series... it makes you think about whether a world with no wars and no fighting is possible. And what means it will take to achieve this. Songs? Gundam? Or the magical GN particles?

 

Considering current technology... Will Web 2.0, eg. Facebook, blogs etc etc. achieve the same thing, allowing people to understand one another? I guess it is going in the right direction, but it is still far from the goal of achieving world mutual understanding and peace. With the internet, everyone can post their ideas online, promoting understanding between one another. However, the problem is also that EVERYONE post their ideas online. There are simply too much information online for a normal human being to absorb.

 

That is human capability limitation.

 

Until technology allows humans to absorb information at the speed of light, (Web 10.0 perhaps, where world wide information is fed directly to the brain), world understanding won't work. (Perhaps we really need GN particles.) And that is only the first hurdle.

 

The second obstacle is human imperfection. Everyone is has a dark side within oneself, no one is a saint. We can only keep the dark side under control. Under certain circumstances , be it extraordinary ones, but still, the dark side will eventually be unleashed. This is due to the simple fact that human beings has needs... and greed. Until human beings has satisfied all his needs and reach a certain level of civilization to control his greed, living in peace will not be possible.

 

Well... can we reach that level of civility and understanding of each other? No one knows. In the Watchman and Gundam, the idea is that ONLY a designed catastrophic event which push human beings to the blink of extinction can push human beings through its next evolution. Do we really need that? Can we not naturally become enlightened ourselves as a species? Maybe not in a hundred years, but perhaps in a thousand, or ten thousand?

 

Before we destroy ourselves.

 

Things to think about.

 

 

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Random random

Working in a foreign place for a long period... sometimes you just lost track of time. There is nothing much to look forward to on weekends. You can't go out, cos you are already "out". You can't meet friends cos you don't have any friends here. You can't go where you want to go most of the time, cos you are sharing a car with someone else.

 

Ramble ramble... The reason why I am writing this blog now is precisely because I am sharing the car with someone else. If not I will already be back in my own apartment doing some other things.

 

Oh well... life isn't perfect most of the time.

 

 

Anw a friend mentioned that now being all alone in a foreign place, it is a good time to think about somethings... like...

 

What you want to be in life? What you hope to achieve in the future? etc etc.

 

I tried to think about it. But my head hurts. I just live where life takes me. A paper boat in the grand river of life. Let it be.

 

 

I don't know why... but recently I felt very cranky. I am very easily upset by a lot of things. For example, people want to waste time chatting in  the company instead of going back to the apartment. And I am stuck with them... ya know... the car sharing thingy. I HATE to stay in the office when I have finished all my work. What is the point of wayang?? (esp now there is no one to wayang to.) 

 

I need to change my altitude. Positive thinking, Jiefeng. POSITIVE THINKING!

 

You want to waste time. Fine. Waste time. I will write my blog.

 

~ An entry written inside the Boeing company.  

 

 

Next: Miniclip time!! 45 more minutes to waste. Yeah!

 

 

Monday, February 23, 2009

Random

A good game never fails to lift up my spirit. New games to recommend for psp: Prinny: Can I be a Hero? and Flow. The first one is a 2D platform game (like Super Mario) that makes me laugh and curse non-stop. The 2nd one is a unique and beautiful game that can't be classified under any existing genre of games. It's tagline is: "Life could be simple". 

 

How true.

 

Finally sorta got use to USA after one week. St Louis is a quiet city. You can see very few people walking on the road. Perhaps due to the cold. The shopping centers here ain't pack like in Singapore. People here are very friendly and polite. Food here is ok, as long as it is not in Boeing. We found a chinese food place near where we stay. Da bao chinese food for dinner back our apartment every day. Btw, so far I haven't found the famous St Louis steak in New York New York Resturant Menu, don't know have or not one...

 

Driving-wise, I finally got used to left-hand drive, which is very different from right hand drive. The slowest lane and the expressway exits are on the right instead of the left. Right turns, into the road closer to us (instead of the further one), can be done even in red light. And here on expressway, if you drive at 90km/h, you will find yourself overtaken by everyone on the road, even by big trucks. This is in stark contrast compared to Singapore. But of course, expressways here consist of 5 lanes, so you can't block others even if you want to, like what many Singapore drivers loves to do.

 

Shopping here... USA is shopping heaven! Just one week here I bought 6 shirts, 1 jeans, 2 berms, 1 jacket. And we haven't gone to the Osage Beach Premium Outlet yet. Also haven't gone to any of the places of interest yet, cos it is so damn cold out there. Will go when it was less cold. Perhap we might even go up to Chicago.

 

Oh btw, in my apartment there is a hundred channel cable tv. They always have some interesting shows on all times of the day. Just heard a very interesting line on tv to compliment a man (ya, I was blogging while watching TV) : "All men wants to be you, all women wants to be with you." =)

 

Will update more if there is anything to update.

 

 

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Touched Down

Finally reached my apartment in St Louis, Missouri after a 24 hrs + journey. As a lady in my plane aptly put it, "it is a miracle that I can still walk!" Anw just some updates:

The time here now is 7am Sunday, equivalent to Singapore 9pm Sunday, 14 hours earlier in Singapore. The temperature here is around 0 Degree Celsius. Going outside now is equivalent to going into a freezer, it's damn cold. Steam will come out of your mouth when you breath here. Better stay in my apartment... though it is also damn cold in here. And btw, my apartment here is surprisingly big. I have a room and toilet and a queen size bed all to myself. Shiok! It almost feels like it is worth it to suffer 24+ hours just to get here. Almost. Hopefully the rest of the 3 months will be just as shiok.

Mind is still a bit groggy as I can't sleep since I woke up at 4am just now (equivalent of 6pm in Singapore... you know, knock off timing). Feel free to message me if you need anything from US. 

Happy Belated Valentine's Day! 

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Random quote from the net

Copied from Xiaonan's blog. Meaningful quotes...

 

寂寞的人有两种 一种是什么话都听的明白 一种是什么话都听不明白

从前总以为收信很快乐 因为那表明远方有朋友 现在才知道 收信不一定是好事 因为那意味着朋友在远方

时间仍在 是我们飞逝

人犯错误 大半是该用真情时太过动脑筋 而在该用脑筋时又太感情用事

为寻找而寻找只会在寻找中迷失

Monday, February 2, 2009

Shows

Finally watched Red Cliff after all these days! I shall not elaborate on how many times I tried to watch but somehow didn't manage to since it started showing... no good timing, missed timing, pple don't want to watch, sold out etc etc... lets just say that I never tried so HARD to watch a movie before. Anw, I finally managed to watched it!

 

Ok la, not bad. Slightly less Dynasty Warrior. Zhaowei's role as a spy is quite interesting. Lin Zhiling's role as Xiao Qiao has finally 'upgraded' from a vase to a... stupid woman. She is totally redundant but at least she brings a tat of 'unexpectedness' to audience who knew the story inside out, since that part is not inside the original story. It makes people wonder what the f will happen to that stupid woman. She also served the purpose of stirring up audience's emotions - that of anger... (tmd wtf is that cock doing???) So actually she has quite an 'important' role after all.

 

Oh well, all in all Red Cliff is not a bad movie. The battle scene is exciting, got a bit of Saving Private Ryan feel - (Destroy that enemy bunker! Its machine gun... no, its arrows are decimating our army!). Humourous elements spreaded throughout the film to lighten up the atmosphere. The ending is not bad too. "其实,我们都输了。" A good line to conclude this epic battle - makes you ponder for a while. Overall 3.5/5.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I watched 4 theatre shows in Jan. Frozen AngelBetrayed Babies from M1 Fringe Festival, Whispers and Design for Living from Huayi Festival. I noticed a trend with the local theatre productions - nowadays we tend to try a lot of tricks, be it 剧中剧, multimedia, etc etc. And one favourite trick these days is to jumble 3 different stories up into one play and tried to make it seems connected when actually they are not.

 

Betrayed Babies and Whispers both used this trick, and it is actually very irritating for unprepared minds.  It is like trying to piece together a jigsaw puzzle only to realise in the middle of the show that it is 3 different jigsaw puzzles. Then you try to piece the 3 different puzzles again until, to your horror, it has reached the end of the show and there are still pieces missing! Sometimes there will even be some extra pieces left over to confuse you even further.

 

Then these days, for Black Box shows, they like to have post-shows dialogue with the director. The directors, upon getting feedback that most audience don't understand what their show is talking about, will say things like:

 

"Ya... we did considered that some audience may not understand the show, but as a director, we should be one step ahead of the audience, instead of staying at the audience's level. It is purely an artistic choice. However, I really did worried that I may be a little self-indulge, so what you all said is valid also..."

 

Upon hearing this, I felt a little pissed off. Wtf. After trying so hard to understand the show, you then tell me that it is actually not meant to be understood ?!?

 

But I totally understood what they meant la. Afterall, I did self-indulge myself at the expense of audience in my own hall productions last time. Haha! But now, after leaving production and going back to becoming an audience, I realised that what is most important in the play, is not all the pattern (more than badminton) used, but simply a good and complete story told in an interesting way. You can use all the tricks in the world, but once it compromises the audience understanding of the story, then, enjoyment level dropped. Simple as that. Look at some of the most enjoyable and loved plays in history (《暗恋桃花源》and Pillowman comes into mind), did anyone fail to understand the story??

 

Local staged drama production somehow have the tendency to put more emphasis on playing tricks than storytelling in the recent years. Last time I used to like experimental/abstract plays. But somehow these days I enjoyed those kind of plays less. Perhaps I had seen too much of these tricks. Perhaps I had become narrow minded. Perhaps I became old.

 

返朴归真.

 

Sometimes after doing lots of complex and complicated stuff, you will realised that the simplest things are often the best.

 

Personal opinion.

 

P.S. I really like Design for Living 《生活与生存》. An example of what I meant by "a good and complete story told in an interesting way". It's ending: "李想(理想), 我好像还记得你..." I LOVED it. But of course, its ticket price is about the combined ticket prices of all the other 3 shows that I watched this year. Haha!

 

One article on Design for Living :


 

 

Friday, January 16, 2009

This Week's Jokes

In a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us, but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count or blessings -- because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible.

 

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

One day, a man walked into an appliance store.

 

"Do you sell color televisions?"

"Yes," said the clerk. "Yes, we do."

"Then give me a green one."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello?"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only 500. Is it okay if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "Oh, thanks so very much. I also stopped by the Mercedes garage this morning and saw the new models. There was one I really, really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "80.000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the optional extras."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking 1,500,000."

MAN: "Well then, go ahead and make them an offer, no more than 1,250,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in absolute astonishment. Then he smiles and asks, "Anyone know whose mobile this is?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A husband from Long Island, kissed his wife goodbye and got into his Cadillac to drive to work in New York City. He'd gone about a mile when he remembered that he'd left something in the bedroom. So he turned the car around and drove back home.


When he walked into the bedroom, there was his wife, lying totally nude on the bed and the neighbor standing totally nude beside her.


The quick-thinking neighbor promptly went into a squatting position on the rug and said, "I'm glad you're here, Mr. Jones, because I was just telling you wife that if she doesn't pay the milk bill, I'm gonna shit all over the floor."

 


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


 

This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children.

I'll never forget that game of cards...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Random Crap

Imagine, before we were borned, we sat down at a table in Heaven together with God, over a cup of coffee, discussing how we want our future life to be. We asked for a lot of things. God let us have some, refused us some, and we bargained to and fro.

 

In the end, we reached a conclusion, with our life planned to the most minute detail. Finally, both God and us finally signed on the 'contract'. How our life will go about, from the moment we are borned to the moment we die, including when exactly we die, all fixed, predestinated.

 

There, we waved goodbye to God, to be borned on Earth. The peculiar thing is, once we are borned, we forgot our discussion with God.

 

~Adapted from Yoruba Legend

 

Wondered what happened at my conversation with God. I guessed I must have quite a lot of bargaining chips left over from my previous life. =P

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

"Everyday life is more interesting than forms of celebration when we become aware of it. That when, is when our intentions go down to zero. Then suddenly notice that the world is magical.

 

"Zen monks go in through discipline, then they get free of ego... I decided to go out. That is why I decided to use the chance operations. I used them to free myself from the ego."

 

"We are made perfect by what happens to us rather than by what we do... We should not only allow things to happen, we should encourage them to do so."

 

~ John Cage, composer of 4'33"

 

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Nations, Groups, Cliques... Races, Religions, Sexes... Cultures, Societies, Families... Philosophies, Theories, Concepts... Fashion, Trends, Styles ----> White Circles floating around in the midst of Black Nothingness.

 

Boundaries, Rules, Regulations ----> Lines that surrounds the Circles , separating the White from the Black.

 

White = Orderliness, Structure, Purity, Solid, Absolute, Light.

Black  = Chaoes, Mess, Impurity, Nothingness, Chances, Darkness.

 

We, our being, our thoughts, are inside some huge, established White Circles 99.999% of the time. These huge White Circles represent established forms of living, thinking, behaving. They have thick, seemingly impentratable lines surrounding it. Restricting. Engulfing. Sometimes Stifling. Oppressing. Suffocating.

 

And the thing is, most of the time, we are so accustomed, so deep inside the White Circle, that we CAN'T see the Lines. 

 

Perhaps there are NO Lines. Perhaps the Lines are imaginary, and we imagined it because we FEAR to leave the White and wandered out to the unknowning Black Nothingness. I know I do fear. Going to America. Who knows what is going to happen?

 

On the other hand, there are people who strived to break free of the barriers all the time. Thinkers, artists, trend setters etc etc. Only when they managed to break free from the old Circle into the Black Nothingness, then they realised that they are trapped in another White Circle that already existed, or one they created.

 

A very good example: There is this big 'White Circle' of Christianity. From it, Atheism broke through and formed another big 'White Circle'. These two are arguing all the time, each trying to prove or disprove whether God exists. Then I thought, it is so stupid. I don't give a damn whether God exists. Lo and behold, I am entrapped in another Circle! I can't even break out to get into the Black Nothingness!

 

And you know what? All these White Circles and Black Nothingness... are all encompassed inside one huge gigantic White Sphere !!!

 

Is it possible to break through the Sphere, with its added dimension?? What lies outside the Sphere?? More Nothingness?? Or the Light of Enlightenment?

 

P.S. If you managed to read until here, sorry to entrapped you in this crappy White Circle (of 'White Circles' and 'Black Nothingness) of my own. Perhaps it would be better if you didn't read it, or gave up halfway.  Then you will be in the Black Darkness of ignorance/unawareness/unknown, a state where creativity is at its highest, where potential is at its greatest. 

 

But it's ok, now at least you can see that Circles and Lines exist. If you still can't see them, try shouting the f word in public.

 

P.P.S. I realised one can't break through into the Black Nothingness from White Circle. One can only emerge from the Nothingness into White Circle.

 

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



Orders, boundaries, regulations. Moral-Immoral. Heaven-Earth. Christianity-Non Christianity. Singapore-Other Countries. Chinese-Other Races. Clean-Dirty. Etc. Each have own set of rules that define themselves, differentiate themselves from others, keeping themselves pure, keeping the impurities out. 


 

'Christianity' won't be 'Christianity' if they don't keep the thoughts that 'God doesn't exist' (impurities) away. 'Heaven' won't be 'Heaven' if it isn't pure and perfect. 'Chinese' won't be 'Chinese' anymore if they don't follow the 'Chinese' culture.


 

Within every Orders there are Essences. Once the Essences are diluted, even replaced by impurities, the Order itself won't exist anymore. Hence the need of boundaries and regulation, to protect itself.


 

Perfectly understandable.


 

HOWEVER, boundaries, regulations, walls... All these prevent changes. Without changes, there will be stagnation...

 

 

The above is some loose strands of thoughts on the same topic that I penned down last night, which I wanted to throw into the rubbish bin, consign into Nothingness. 



 

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Perfect days

My first 3 days of 2009 was perfect.

 

1 Jan 2009  

My parents and I ate a sumptuous buffet at Zheng Fa Huo Hai Xian at Novena, which left us full and satisfied.

 

2 Jan 2009


We had a block 54 gathering, eating at a famous zi char in Ang Mo Kio. It feels so good to see so many hall friends again. And I got a gigantic crab pincer to myself, heehee. The meal cost $36 per person.

 


Noticed the cup in front of Weitao? He was the only one who drank hot drink during the dinner while others drank cold drinks.

 

He was laughed at by all of us for being 'uncle'. Haha!

 

3 Jan 2009

Today, a friend and I discovered by chance a backlane full of hidden treasures! It is a small street, partially hidden, full of shops which sells those funny funny designer clothes, bags, shoes etc. etc. Normally I don't care much about clothes and bags, but the whole street seems so arty... walls with graffitis (not those delibrate ones by artists, but those 'ugly' ones), wierd cafe/bar/boutique which I can't classify which is which, hidden parts of shops (2nd storeys) which brings surprises... that it attracts me instantly. When you first walked into the lane, it actually feels creepy. But as you walk further in, it feels like you have reached some other exotic country.

 

Too bad we have to rush to catch a movie, leaving us no time to explore the shops. Guess I will go back tomorrow to get a suitable laptop bag for myself.

 

By the way, the lane is called Haji Lane, which you go in from Arab Street. 10 mins walk from Bugis mrt, towards Raffles Hospital direction.  

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Then we watched Seven Pounds. Will Smith's movies never disappoints me. The whole movie is one big mystery, leaving the audience dying to know the answer. The jigsaw puzzle fits nicely gradually towards the end of the show... and the complete picture shocked the audience emotionally.

 

However, after the show, there was still one little loose end that is not tied up:

 

Why is the movie named 'Seven Pounds'?

 

This, you will have to wiki it yourself.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

After the show, I reached home just in time for my favourite tv animae every Sat 9pm: Star Wars. That was followed by watching Pursuit of Happyness, which I rented just before I walked home.

 

2 good movies. 1 great street. What a great day. =)

 

 

illusion


illusion \i-ˈlü-zhən\ noun

- perception of something objectively existing in such a way as to cause misinterpretation of its actual nature

 

This whole world is one big massive web of illusion. Life, relationships, religion, earth, sun, solar system, universe, atoms, electrons, tables, chairs, words, blog, stories, trees, games, art, internet, money, etc etc etc.

 

It is transient, ever-changing, constantly flowing, and will eventually die.

 

But people are acting as if they will last forever. We cannot help it. Study study study. Work work work. Gather more and more money. Sometimes the illusion only seems too real. Illusions within illusions within illusions. Can we pierce it? Can we stay above it?

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Imagine the future: there is a place where you can do what you want, how you want, when you want. A virtual reality. Everyone will enter this reality for 16 hours everyday, where you control your avatar, and doing whatever you want to do. However, you cannot stay in the virtual reality forever. You have to return to the real world to do real stuff for some time everyday, or you will die. When you are in the real world, your avatar will 'sleep', oblivious to what you are doing in the real world.

 

What will you do in the virtual reality?

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

This is similar to Buddhist philosophy, but different. Buddists also believe that everything is illusion, but they aim to rise above the illusion to attain a peaceful, enlightened state. I believed the same thing, but I also believed that the belief is something that is almost impossible to attain. Well, it is believed to take several recarnations to fully attain Enlightenment isn't it?

 

It simply needs too MUCH effort, and it is against my Taoist belief of "无为". *chuckle*

 

No. I am not a rule breaker. But I will bend it. I want to stretch the limits of the thick wall of illusions, of my imagination. (And maybe I will break it in my next incarnation.)

 

Enjoy the moment. Do what you want, how you want, when you want!

 

As far as possible.

 

P.S. This entry is an illusion. It doesn't exist.

 

 

 

Thursday, January 1, 2009

1st entry in 2009

Time passes so fast, 2008 passed with a blink of an eye. (*blink blink* Shit. Now still 2009.) Looking back, 2008 is an important milestone year in my life, just as 1983, 1989, 1991, 1996, 2000, 2002, 2004.

 

Why are 'milestone years' so important?

 

Coz too often, you have to fill in those years into those stupid forms which asked the same questions over and over and over and over again.

 

Enough said. I seldom blog these days as I am extremely busy with something else (erm, see previous entry), hence, kinda lost the skill to blog/crap about the some of the most mundane and meaningless stuff in life.

 

You see, every so often, once I started working, the most meaningful goal that excites me these days is very often... a quest in some game, eg. kill the same type of monster over and over and over again until you get a rare drop. *Pause* Erm ok, not very meaningful. Haha!

 

For the pass 25 years I have been like water in a river rushing along day after day towards the ocean. Now I have finally reached the big wide ocean. Now what?

 

Suddenly a thought strikes me: there are people who are passionate about their job, and there are people who are enduring their job. When I was in hall production, I can differentiate between these people. Now... I can't. Instead, I can only see TGIFs everywhere. (Today is Friday! Heehee! )

 

Bosses can make the job more endurable for people. But how can they make people more passionate about their job? Food for thought.

 

Seems like I kept rambling about this meaningless life topic these days. Ah heck, 今朝有酒今朝醉,今天有game今天玩。Yeah!

 

 

**** Change topic ****

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

 

This year total Christmas presents received count: 3. One shirt, one t-shirt, and one set of mouse pad and wrist rest. Thanks friends! =)

 

This year total expected Christmas presents yet received count: 3 also. Haha!

 

Anwz for those who don't know, I will be leaving for United States (St Louis, Missouri) for 3.5 months training on 7 Feb. Only 5 more weeks from now. Also, for those who don't know, this month is also my birthday month. And FYI, Chinese New Year also falls in this month. So, for those who can't give me my Christmas present before I leave for the states, I will be demanding my Christmas Present + Birthday Present and New Year Ang Bao as interest when I come back.

 

DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU. *Evil laugh*

 

**** Change topic ****

 

Just now talked to 4 JC classmates simultaneously on msn. Come to think of it, the relationships between my JC classmates is one huge complicated web. A is close to B. B is close to C. But A finds it awkward to talk to C. Etc etc. And normally this kind of complicated relationships are usually between different gender. For the guys in my class, our friendships go way back to secondary school, so we don't have such complications. Although there are classmates I don't usually talk to, I will still think of them from time to time.

 

After all, we spent the best 2 years of our lifes together. 

 

00S60. Wish you all a Happy New Year!